you have to set yourself on fire
The Stars continue to be one of the bands that I never go out of my way to listen to but when I hear them, I just melt. It’s a really bizarre relationship because I totally dig them.. but I just can never think of that when I want music to listen to. I’ll have to try and find some of their CDs, or at least remember them when I’m shopping. Or I could yar it up and find it online. Such wonderful songs that evoke so much feeling. They’re just so.. eclectic. A mixture between Bright Eyes, Imogen Heap and a band like the Shins. A very interesting middle point in my musical tastes. I loves me the string instruments. It’s weird, but I totally agree with Imogen Heap’s lyrics; “Music is worthless unless it can make a complete stranger break down and cry.” It’s a blatant mis-representation of music in general, but there’s so much music out there that is just so evocative and wonderful. Weird moods just take over me sometimes.
EDIT: Apparently, imeem doesn’t have a license with whoever owns The Stars doesn’t want us to listen to more than 30 seconds unless you go to their site. :( No embedding for Bryan.
enthralled
Tags: whut?
dear..
Dear 
Arkensis,
I don’t really know how to tell you this, but you’re a pervert. I think I realized it that night in your camping car and I saw you carve your initials into Donald Duck. I’m sure you’re man enough to understand that there is no solution to this. I’m returning the pictures from LA to you, but I’ll keep your photo as a memory. You should also know that I always will try to forget eggplant-fetishism.
Go burn,
Bryan.
surprised
Tags: memememememe
sweet toaster i want it
Nintendo began their TGS presser today and I have to admit, while still proving themselves to be Nintendo (DSi, whut?), there were a WHOLE BUNCH of games that totally blew me away. Not only is there a new Sin and Punishment on the way, there’s many other games for both the DS and the Wii that look really good. There’s a slasher/rpg/cel-shaded game for the Wii called Dynamic Shin (Zan?) that looked really neat, as well as a bunch of other rpgs. Totally not expected by me. I’d honestly not expected much from Nintendo this TGS, but they’ve surprised me. I’d really like to hear about the new Kirby game, though. Kirby is probably one of the most lush and creative world Nintendo has that’s totally underrated. It just feels like no one cares, which is so sad!
But! Nintendo made up for it! How, you ask? With this!
EDIT: Now with video! 8D
surprised
i’m no superman
School’s getting into full swing and it’s really getting me stoked. Is it weird that I’m making far more work for myself out of the extraordinarily simple assignments we’ve received so far? I just.. I want to get into the habit of staying late, going early and doing far more than the professors ask, as that’s the only way I’m going to stay ahead of the class. Or the only way I’ll get above an eighty in programming; weird. I’ve never been the kid who does extra work, who stayed late, studied or put his all into it. High marks have always just come naturally to me (excluding NSCAD, but that doesn’t count).. but I don’t want that anymore. I want to be the kid that tries his hardest and everyone likes and actually succeeds and has a foot in-front of everyone else. I’ll be in a graduating class of maybe.. ten or eleven, depending on how many people actually make it that far, and I really want to be able to tell studios that I’m worth hiring over them. It’s weird because Alex isn’t feeling that at all, but I’m finding it easier to break away from him to go do my own thing recently. I can see him being a bad influence at some points, though.
Overall, though? My program kicks ass. I think I’m really going to dig doing a lot of what we’re going to be doing. My Intro Design class has already spawned some great discussions and Darren (read: prof) is a co-founder of Northern Geeks and (I believe) is on a podcast. I may invite him as a guest onto one of ours sometime, as he’s by far my favourite guy at the school. And the people in my class are not as bad as I had originally thought. A couple of them are pretty cool and whatnot; one is even totally keen on helping set up the Smash Bros. tournament. Keen, keen, keen. Also? I have to go paint-balling with my “Interpersonal Communications” class tomorrow. That’ll be.. interesting.
Also? Scrubs is still absolutely hilarious.
And this;
excited
i am bryan’s sad!
So, tonight I’ll be packing iPanda away for his seemingly common trip to the doctor. This is the fourth time he’ll have gone in for repairs and I’m getting really tired of it. Having really thought it through, I really feel I want something more powerful, even if it means losing my laptop-capabilities. I’m thinking about investing in a new iMac, but I’m really not sure yet. I totally dig the aesthetics, they’ve got a lot of power and I could easily bootcamp it. I’m just not sure if I have the money.
I’m too tired to be fully coherent, and I’ve still got to package this guy up. Busy busy.
crappy
Tags: ipanda = :(
Power Supply!
First and foremost, sleeping soundly every night is so damn nice. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to go to sleep and not wake up until morning; probably not since grade nine or so. But the last three or four nights? Bryan’s been sleeping the whole night through. It’s incredibly refreshing. I don’t feel the need to pass out in the afternoons, I don’t feel completely exhausted when I wake up and I’ve even been able to get out of bed at a reasonable time when I don’t need to. Overall, it’s a nice feeling.
Anywhore. Anyone who has never visted 8bitPeoples really, really should. They are a record label (essentially) that has a whole boat load of bitpop artists. Some of the music is of incredibly quality, particularly these guys. Their music is so completely inspiring for me. Anytime I hear it I just can’t help but wanting to create something. Anything. :b As I said, I strongly recommend checking them out.
awake
Tags: 8bitpeoples, anamanaguchi, sleep!
indescribablecolon cee
I know all it seems like I do recently is plug other shit, but this is something that I really feel people should see and know about. I had intended to write a post about this earlier, but I guess it’s kind of fortunate that I didn’t, seeing how the situation has been fucked over. Either or.
This is an installation at the Leipzig Games Convention in Germany titled “Invaders!”. My honest first impressions? I loved it. It’s a brilliant, shocking piece that, when experienced, apparently “delivers complex messages via simple means.” I really dug it, and I dug that it was in a place that was extremely populated by not only public, but a lot of press as well. As such, the piece has been the source of a lot of international controversy. It’s popped up on every gaming news site around, and even on several international “real” news sites as well.
I was worried about the reaction this piece was going to get. A lot of “too soons” were passed around when it first hit the net, but that was just from gamers. What would the general, god-fearing American family think? Apparently, it’s not their favourite piece of art. The artist, Douglas Edric Stanley, has since received hate mail, threats of legal action and even death threats. It kind of makes me sick. In the end, the guy decided to take the piece down, contrary to what the Computerspiele Museum had wanted, as it was simply becoming something he didn’t want it to be. He was quoted stating;
While I take full responsibility for the uncomfortable ambiguity of certain aspects of this work, it was never created to merely provoke controversy for controversy’s sake, and unfortunately, this is what the piece has now become. The American response to this work has been, frankly, immature, and lacking the sophistication and consideration that other parts of the world have so far shown the work.
I completely understand why he would want the piece turned off. The goal was not what has been achieved, and to let it go on would simply belittle his original intent. And seriously; fuck off, world. It just makes me sick to my stomach to see this bullshit reaction to something meaningful, even if that meaning hits just one person. Art is fucking art, regardless. While I feel that this really shouldn’t have happened and that this piece should have been protected, I can’t help but empathize with how the artist must feel. Knowing that this piece is being strewn in completely the wrong light.
Then again, what makes art is the audience. Once a piece is completed, it’s the audience that truly finishes the piece, and what they think of it is usually not even close to what was intended. So, who am I to complain that this shit-storm was started.
I really wish I could have experienced the piece myself.
aggravated
Tags: art!, fuck off world
Turn off your mind, unwind
Went to Miramichi and back again. I’m left feeling in a little like I’m in limbo. I really have no idea what’s going on for me financially for this year, although I’ve been assured that it’s going to work out. I just have this feeling that I’m going to have to get a job and work my ass off, and in turn I’m going to get a lot less out of my program at school. I’m also frustrated right now at the amount of time we’re going to have to move and get settled in before everything starts. After going over and getting our dining room table set up and unpacking some boxes I feel a whole lot better about the place. It’ll be a really nice place to live, and I really hope I’ll get to enjoy the next year or two.
I’ve decided that I’m a rather large fan of Boom Boom Satellites. They’ve got that punchy awesome techno feel that I really can’t help but jive to. Their single “Shut Up and Explode” was featured as the opening for Xam’d: Lost Memories which is the PSN exclusive anime series (that I’m really, really intrigued by) and since I heard that song I’ve been downloading and digging up some more of their music. I really dig it.
Speaking of Xam’d, I really want to see some of it, but two things are holding me back. The first of which, and main reason, is that the PSN Video store is US only. That means that Canada-Lanada doesn’t get to enjoy the benefits of the wonderful service yet. The other reason is that Sony kind of botched the distribution of it. You can rent it in HD (which looks amazing), but you can’t buy it. It’s a few bucks to rent each episodes and then you have 14 days to watch it, and 24 hours once you start watching it to finish it; after that it’s deleted from your system. It’s the way digital distribution renting has pretty much always worked. BUT! the inability to buy the damn show really makes me sad. I really like to own the shows I like, digitally or not. I assume that I’ll still rent it all some day, but I may end up looking for HD quality versions of it online. Maybe they’ll fix it and allow people to buy the HD content on the store. I’d be so down with that.
Also? I totally miss playing online on my PS3. I’ve been doing next to nothing in terms of playing games because of it, and it’s getting to me. I just updated my firmware and I’m attempting to download Bionic Commando: Rearmed right now, as that game looks like win, and I’m trying to get in something in terms of online play with Lost Planet. I miss my games.
I can’t wait to move.
EDIT: I hate my internet with a firey passion.
pessimistic
Tags: bryan - gaming = husk, miramichi, SHUT UP AND EXPLODE~
happy birthday, darling
It’s a very strange and wonderful song. I know I’m late to the Bright Eyes party, but I am starting to really dig some of his music. I’m also getting back into Damien Rice (who I had no idea was from Ireland!), and Bright Eyes is very much in the same vein. Either or, I’m listening to music almost all the time right now. It’s been a while since I’ve been so into music.
I’ve also been thinking a lot, lately. Certain circumstances have brought me to thinking of my ideals, but I’m going to put them under the cut. I’m sure not everyone wants to hear them.
Sorry about the little rant. Talking about it earlier made me want to hammer some thoughts out. I’ve been thinking a lot about the higher ideas in life. Like why we’re here or whatever. I have a feeling I’ll be writing about that soon, as well.
In other news, The Club is great fun. It’s looking like another definite buy for me, as I really feel like I can get into it.
thoughtful
Tags: bright eyes, deadbryanday, rant
i am bryan’s need for shoes
Got my first shipment of clothes in for the new girl, and a couple of things for myuute‘s Julien. One of the most exciting things in the shipment? Shoes that actually fit a DoT. Like, really nifty shoes. These shoes to be exact. I’m going to be making another dollmore order sometime soon, I think to order something similar for Dominick, as they’re so much cooler than his shoes that he has now. My one regret? If I get Meryl with only what I have now, she won’t have a full outfit. The pants I got won’t go with the the top I got, so I have to hope that I’ll get another order in before I get her.
I’m very stoked. The wig turned out really nice, I dig the eyes and a lot of the clothes are super nice~ 8D All I need are some normal clothes now. I’m really wanting some nice jeans, but brennin only takes orders “sometimes”. :( I’m haunting her site for now, but I think I’m going to have to start looking elsewhere. I couldn’t find anything on Dollmore that I liked, and it’s proving hard to find jeans of the right style outside of Mio. Either or, we’ll see.
Army of Two is a great experience, probably one I’ll buy so I can play it in co-op some more. It was damn fun with Alex.
In other news, sleeping in makes me feel like junk.
drained
Tags: deadbryanday, domdomdom, meryl, ugh
a post in which bryan prepares
I have to admit, the butterflies in my tummy have left their cocoons. Today I woke up and got an email from Dollmore letting me know that my (massive) order had shipped, meaning it’ll probably be here by Monday, if not a touch earlier. I also got paid. So my plan is now to go into town tomorrow, deposit my cheque and find out how much money I actually have. I’ll put a chunk of it aside, pay a bunch on to my credit card and then tomorrow night I’ll send hushed a chunk of money for Meryl~~! Which is so exciting. I’m really happy to be in a situation where I’m getting an awesome doll that I’ve wanted for a while, I’m helping out a friend and it’s not going to cost me several internal organs. I’ve been only thinking about this new doll, pretty much. I bring it up randomly to people who really don’t care and get weird looks. But! I can’t help it. I’m a weird kid.
I’m so stoked. Although, I’m wondering now how long it will take the package to make it from Alaska to east coast, Canada. Either or, it’s not like I have much right to complain. myuute has kind of been waiting for Julien for years. Haha. Either or! Meryl will be here before too long, and I will be happy! (I guess I should let you know what kind of face-up I want, eh? :b I’ll fire you an email later tonight or tomorrow and hopefully a payment.) And I’m really worried that all the money I’ve sent to Ajumapama is going to go to waste as there was a bit of a mix up in me sending my payments. I also have a few things coming from CheeryDoll. I’ve spent too much money. Ugh.
Also, episode 3.5 went up early tonight, and this episode? we’re in ur manger killing ur savior!
excited
Tags: bleeding pixels, doll!clothes, i should swallow pesticide, meryl
I am bryan’s nothing
This update is pointless, except for the fact that I FINALLY found this;
Ordered some clothes for the girl, but I’m just not going to post them here. Maybe some other day.
weird
Tags: meryl, random, the simlish version is better than the original!
FINALLY.
Episode 003 is finally up, albeit late. Either way, it’s definitely our best episode yet. You can find it, as always, here or on iTunes. Go listen and bask in it’s late glory. 8D
Also, I’m ordering some clothes today for Meryl, along with going into Adrenalan to mess around in Garry’s Mod again. Today sounds like a damn good day. I’ll update this post again later today with some clothes-full-ness.
EDIT: Well, I won’t be updating any time soon with clothes I’ve bought, as I apparently have atrocious taste. I’m having a horrible day off. :\
chipper
aa~!
It’s a really weird feeling, but I haven’t felt this excited in a long time. It’s the kind of excited I felt when I was first buying stuff for Dom.. only, this time I have a good idea of what I’m doing. She’s got a character already, and when she gets here she’ll have a home. I was talking with Arkensis last night about how Dominick really came into being. I had ordered him and most of his clothes without him ever having a personality. I had constantly attempted to sit and figure out who Dom was and what made him tick, but I could never do it. That continued for a long time after I got him. It wasn’t until.. probably a year after I had the kid that he really started to take form. He changed and waffled so much in that year. He really grew into who he is today. It was a really interesting experience. I don’t know if it’ll be the same for Meryl, but I kind of doubt it. Meryl’s already got a pretty bold form in my head, and because of Dom, she’s got a lot of personality already.
I’ve already got a long list of things I want to get for her. Hopefully I’ll be ordering some clothes as early as next monday. 8D She’s going to be one kickin’ little sister. I cannot wait for the summer to be over.
Also, Ep. 003 was recorded today, I’ll edit it tomorrow afternoon and have it out tomorrow night. <3
ecstatic
Tags: bleeding pixels, meryl, newdoll~~!
i am bryan’s procrastination
It’s interesting how I can put off some things so long, even when they aren’t un-enjoyable things. I quite enjoy writing here, in fact. Either or, I kept putting it off. I meant to post here whilst in Miramichi, then once we got back. After that I meant to write in here several times. Every time I sat down at my computer to actually do it, though, it escaped me. I’d draw a blank of what to write, decide whatever I was thinking wasn’t interesting enough to actually type it out, etc. I’ve been in a bad rut. Dreading going to work every day, getting off work and getting pretty much nothing done. Ugh. I simply cannot wait to get off this island and start going back to school.
In other news, summer is almost over! Thank god. We’ve got about a month left of work and whatnot before we actually make our way over to the new apartment. Which looks mighty spiffy, if I don’t say so myself. We worked our asses off to make the place look good, but I’m so glad it does, now. We painted seven rooms, roughly, in three-and-a-half days. Most of the rooms had horrid wallpaper up and it simply made the whole apartment look awful. But now that we got it all fixed up, it seems like it’s going to be a really nice place to live. We’ve still got a load of stuff to get for the place, a table and bamboo blinds included, but I’m so much more stoked for the place now. We used a really nice yellow for the kitchen, chocolate brown for the living room, a forest green and said brown for our bedroom, a really pale sage green for the hallways~, and grey for the dining room. It’s all so great looking with the beautiful hardwood floors. The next thing on my agenda is to construct our series of cubes and rectangles that we’re going to use for our end/coffee tables and bookcases in the living room. (Our TV will look so good in there!) 8D
That’s enough ranting about that. I’m also getting a little stoked for the end of the summer due to the fact that I have another doll coming~ (thanks again, hushed~) Although, I’m a little worried about names. I have a name in mind, and I have for a long time.. but it could cause a bit of conflict pretty easily, and I can completely understand why. ( hushed, could you fire me an email whenever yours gets up and running, so I could ask you something? I’m pretty sure you’re having issues with it right now, yeah? So, there’s no rush. Whenever it comes back up, just fire me an email; industria[at]casualmurder[dot]net~ Thanks!)
It’ll be an exciting end of the summer. Getting back to school, Julien, my new girl, moving~ Whoo. I can’t wait to get into all that instead of this horrid PEI lull. (I guess I should also mention my sister’s wedding here.. but I feel I’m the only one that doesn’t view this as a big deal.)
We’ll be recording a horribly late episode 3 tomorrow afternoon. It’ll give me something to edit to occupy my mind. I’m going to attempt to get it out for Monday night, that way I’ll be able to relax if I can get Tuesday off. I think I want to go buy/rent a game, soon. I just want to play something new, as not being able to play online is really starting to irritate me. Also! I want to get back to Adrenalan so I can play some more Garry’s Mod. Damn I want a computer that can run that. Hopefully LittleBigPlanet will live up to my expectations~
okay
Tags: also bryan's a lamer, doll!rant, guh pei, newgirldoll!, rantrantrant
Om dom dom~
Today was Dom’s day, as I said earlier. It definitely could’ve been more Dom’s day than it was, but he got a lot more attention that normal. I’m actually planning to spend a lot more time with the kid than I have been. Either or, on to the photographs!
So, I’m reasonably pleased with most of the photos I took, but these ones are the best. I lost a huge chunk simply because I was kind of distracted when I was taking them. That’s alright. It felt so nice to actually pay attention to him. I got his head off, gave him a good scrub (he’s still pretty dirty o~ O), changed his eye-positions and cycled him through his wardrobe. A lot of the clothes that I have for him really don’t suit the character that he’s evolved into. He’s got some clothes that totally suit, but some really just don’t. It’s very weird realizing that your character has changed and evolved into something you hadn’t originally intended. Although, the whole storyline Dom is from acts like that, really.
The majority of the storyline the revolves around Dom (and the other two characters) is very.. fluid. It’s not set in stone at all. It changes with my whims and interests. Well, all but one part of it. It’s a part that I’m actually really excited about. I was talking about it with Arkensis a while ago and he agreed to help me out with some aspects of it which has gotten me totally stoked. I’ll try to get scrawl of this nonsense out so I can stop being so vague~ and you’ll understand what on earth I’m talking about.
I also have the attention-span of a gnat.
EDIT: I have no idea what happened, but my post just decided to devour half of itself and revert to my first, poorly coded draft. :( It’s fixed now. That was weird.
pleased
Tags: bryan = gnat, domdomdom
put a little mustard on that mustard
I’ve been ignoring the written language far too much. Both here and in real life. I guess it’s just built up and I had a bit of a word-explosion all over Tonka earlier tonight. A lot of introspective thought and the lack of venting any of my thoughts except those broadcast via Bleeding Pixels had been accumulating in my little head and I guess it’s been bogging me down a little.
A lot of what has been floating around in there is just thinking about how most of us live our lives. There are some people out there who have a skill and simply excel at it, while others work their ass off and prove to be just as good. However, most of us live in the shadow of those we aspire to be; we think our work is terrible and want to produce things on the level that they do. Take a step back, though. If you look at the people we aspire to be? they aspire to be someone else. They think their work is terrible and they want to produce something more than what they do.
This is an incredibly common situation, one I feel pretty much everyone is in. Human nature, I suppose. There’s two obvious ways this situation can be viewed; if the person you aspire to be like thinks their work is trash, what does that make your work? Or, the ever-so-positive view; this is simply human nature, everyone is simply trying to further themselves, to better themselves in what they enjoy. One is clearly a happier point of view than the other. Personally, I don’t have either of those views. I’m not writing this because it’s something I feel (although I do have these feelings from time to time), but more so because I view it as a very peculiar circumstance.
My personal view, and it’s really one I want to try to live by more adamantly, is that I produce the work I do for no one but myself. I know I’ll never be the artist I aspire to be, instead I’ll be the artist I know I can be and I’ll produce things that I’m proud of no matter what. I’ll write things that I feel are worth writing, and I’ll do what I want with the ideas in my head. If I inspire people along the way? that’s fantastic. I never want those people to feel hopeless, though. I never want them to look at what I do as better than what they do. I’m just a human. We’re all just people. Whether you’re a rockstar or a video game design student, no one person is better than the other.
I feel the podcast is really a manifestation of that. I’ve wanted to do one for a long time but I was always too intimidated. I felt that there was no point because I couldn’t produce something of the quality of some of the shows out there. I guess I realized, though, that I should just produce what I want to; a show I, myself, would like to listen to. If people enjoy it than that’s all the better, but that’s not the only reason I’m a part of the ‘cast. I’m producing that show because it’s something I enjoy, it’s something I’ve always wanted to do, and I feel that we really are adding something to the community. And that’s a damn good feeling.
If you haven’t seen it yet, I strongly suggest watching this video. It’s truly touching, and it brought me to tears.
In other news? thanks to the ever-awesome Myuu, we’ve acquired a High Definition television. I’m absolutely loathing living at home. I’m a lazy slacker, and we very recently published ep. 002 of Bleeding Pixels~!
I’m going to write it down so I actually abide by it, this time. This Sunday will be Dom’s day, dammit.
thoughtful
Tags: random, rant, the human condition a la bryan
sunny-side up fortune telling
I’ve been such a busy-bee, recently. You know, seeing on how I’ve been avoiding work and anything that could be considered remotely productive in any way, shape or form. Hell, I’ve even been avoiding planning out the podcast. That came back to bite me in the ass today, too. We tried to record episode 001, but we just didn’t have it in us. I kept screwing up with GarageBand and we just rambled for far too long. Hopefully tomorrow brings us better luck in ‘casting. I should be slightly more attentive, now that I’ve finished Metal Gear Solid 4. Or, maybe I’ll be less. Metal Gear Online has worked reasonably well the past few days, so I’ve been getting my fix more and more. I got a good few hours in today in a 2vs2 room; it ended up being ridiculously fun as both teams worked together really well. My teammate stuck with me, we checked corners, halls and one of us was pretty much always watching behind us. All that with no headset, too! That game deserves love. ;D
I’ve also pretty much got this site completely up and running. I was waiting on someone to get my moodtheme title to display correctly (which it now does), all I need to do now if figure out why some of my userpics aren’t working and see if I can somehow get my moodtheme to print a “
” after the mood icon but before the title. I’m so damn ambitious.
Also! myuute will most likely be ordering her Julien by the end of June (a fitting month, in my opinion). I’m really happy for her, as she’s been waiting a long time for this. Related to that, hushed is also planning to remold one of her dolls this summer. Fortunately enough, that doll happens to be my favorite. She’s stated she’d much rather see her go to a friend than some stranger on DoA (quite understandable), so I have agreed to adopt her. Which means I’ll be getting my second doll around the end of the summer / early fall. Awesome. I can’t wait for the end of the summer, now! So many things to look forward to.
Within this month? 42″ plasma HDTV. ;D! I can hardly contain myself.
hopeful
Tags: code monkey, doll!rant, domdomdom, julien, mgo, vg!rant
