like a surplus reprieve

January 16th, 2009 by industria | Posted in Uncategorized |

I’ve been left to my thoughts a lot, recently. No wait, I haven’t. It’s been all Warcraft, school or some other thing to waste time. It’s not like I don’t enjoy those things but I really miss sitting around and not having anything to do. My brain is getting fried from all of the activity. It’s not used to all this stimulus.

I stumbled upon a piece of music today on the Audio Portal that really stuck to me. It wasn’t just the piece, though, the comment left by the author stuck with me just as much. I constantly seek inspiration and talent in other artists in an attempt to get myself to create something, but what usually ends up happening is that I just get lost in the beauty and procrastinate doing anything myself. It’s a really bad funk I’ve been in. This is the comment that musician left, along with the piece of music.

Do you ever think about it ? How you as a child would react to who you have become ? I do. I think about it all the time. Think about all the dreams I had, all the goals and ideas. The creativity, the fun, the demeanor. If I were to go back in time right now and talk to myself. I’m pretty sure I would hate me.
Don’t get me wrong.. I don’t hate life, I’m not being emo, I’m perfectly content with myself. But I’m sure that this is not who I wanted to be.

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I was left thinking: “Would I hate myself if I could go back and talk to my younger self? Did I thrash any dreams I had?” Obviously I’m a little too young for this to really apply to me. I’ve still yet to achieve really anything, but I was thinking none the less. What struck me as odd was that I couldn’t remember any big dreams or goals that I was driven to accomplish. I don’t even remember what I used to say I wanted to be. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I have never really wanted to be the best. I’ve never craved popularity or fame, I’ve never wanted to be brave or courageous. I guess I’ve always just wanted to do my own thing, you know? And that’s certainly what I’m doing right now.

But I’m asking an open question to everyone, it doesn’t matter how old you are or where you are in your life, I’m curious:

If you could go back in time and meet your younger self, would you like who you turned into?

That’s not to say that you’re unhappy with who you are, as August stated in his comment. Priorities change with time and sensibility. I’m just curious what everyone elses’ inner children would think of them as they are now. I certainly hope I’d think I was cool. I’m learning to make video games for goodness sake. What’s more neat to kids than that?

Also, I had meant to post this image a short while ago, but that was very quickly dwarfed by this;

Who knew I’d ever hit sixty, let alone so damn fast. (Time played: 4 days, 6 hours, 18 minutes, 55 seconds [and I'm almost 61. Haha.])

curious