Alchemy

June 4th, 2010 by industria | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Have to admit that it’s a damn fun program to paint with. Someone in my class uses it a lot for rapid concepting.. but I’m not sure I can get the hang of it to do that. I’m far too reliant on actual form, which isn’t a good thing, really.

End of term is rapidly approaching and I really have no idea what I’m doing anymore. I’m putting stuff off I don’t want to (looking at getting my new computer), I feel like I’m falling short in everything that I’ve left to do before term ends and I’m generally sort of freaking out at what’s needing to get done. Stuff is piling up in an awful way and I just don’t know where to start. I don’t want to call mom and dad because I have to ask them for a loan so I can pay my tuition and talk to them about my grad. I just can’t seem to find any motivation to polish my stuff for Jalloo.

It’s interesting.. I saw one of the second year animation student’s finished stuff for the festival and I was a little astounded. Everything he had done was so full of originality and character that I know he’ll stand out. I thought about it a lot.. about how much I wanted that to be me of the 3D crowd and how I probably can’t achieve that before everything is due. He’s also got a lot more of himself figured out and is much older than me.. but still. I see a lot of missed opportunity in the time I’ve spent here. If I had a much clearer goal of where and who I wanted to be when I graduated I know my work and my presentation would be so much stronger. I don’t know if that’s a realistic thing to fault myself on, though..

I feel like I’ve lacked direction for a long time. And I like what I’m doing.. I’m just not as good as I want to be and I feel like I don’t know where I’m doing with it.

–

I fell asleep after this so my train of thought left me behind in some sleepy desert.

June 2nd, 2010 by industria | Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Messing around in Alchemy a bit. A very interesting and artistically challenging program. Want to play with it some more. Also, update more.

May 18th, 2010 by industria | Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

I don’t even.

Not having a good week. Not looking forward to picking my next project. Just ugh. Finished the gardens though, not really happy with them. Maybe I’ll actually get some feedback from a professor this time.

just some wips

May 11th, 2010 by industria | Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

I am feeling a bit lost and hungry and I just want to curl up and play wow. BUT! The current project we’ve got for practicum is pretty neat;

I’m going to do some drawing and brainstorming tonight. Update more then.

Headaches~!

May 5th, 2010 by industria | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments »

Just a bit of drawinglessons from Eva. Trying to find a better way to represent and personify myself. Also, massive headaches. And terrible demo-reels. Hooray.

[ Another? ]

I’ve got a black eye.

April 28th, 2010 by industria | Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

So this week has definitely been one of the weirdest weeks I’ve had in a long, long time. Last friday I got my wisdom teeth surgically removed and I’ve been “recovering” over the last few days. This mostly entails me being very whiney and waited on by the most amazing fiance ever. But I’ve never experience this sort of discomfort before and it’s really not something I’m fond of.

On top of that I’m home for the week because I have to get stitches removed on friday which means I’ve got homework that I need to do, I’ve got little to no internet and I forgot all my comfy pants at our apartment. D: Cue Bryan wandering aimlessly and goalless-ly around the house, desperately wanting to eat things like chips, chicken burgers and pizza. I’m also dealing with the fact that the aforementioned best fiance ever is now back at our apartment going to school. So now we’re both lonely and I’m in this weird drugged and hurt-y headspace that I can’t seem to get over. I am making an attempt to wean myself off of one of the pills though. We’ll see how that goes in the morning.

This is all doubly frustrating for me because this was the time I decided to put a lot of work into recruiting for our guild, aptly named Casual Murder, and it’s a time when I can’t really play WoW at all. It’s very frustrating ’cause there’s stuff I want to be able to do to make some of the transfers we have coming more welcome. Guh. I also can’t ride on anyone’s butt to get transferred if I can’t even play myself, right? That will be what this weekend is for, though.

So in my bizarre headspace funk I’ve been in, I got to doodling.

[ It's a me. o_o ]

Uh. Can I eat now?

March 26th, 2010 by industria | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

I am really trying to get into the habit of drawing or at least updating every day at lunch. I’ve just been so uninspired and whatnot that it’s just been so hard to do anything. :\ I’ve got to get some work done this weekend on my portfolio so that I can have it completely updated for the GameGarage. Well, “completely”.

In other news? I’m total balls in Mudbox, but I have to keep trying. I’ve always been the sort of person that loves to try something interesting, especially after I see someone else create something really cool using that tool. Then when I try it and nothing works the way I want it to I sort of give up and either try half-heartedly from that point on or not at all. That’s what happened with Mudbox for me and I’ve never gotten used to it. It’s really hurting my 3D at this point as I’m only limited to what I can do in 3DS Max, which can be totally time consuming to say the least. At this point I feel totally hopeless and like I’ll never learn the damn program and it’s so extraordinarily frustrating. Nothing I seem to make looks good and my natural instinct is to just give up. Horrible defense mechanism, but it’s one that I’ve totally grown with for a long time.

So I’ve got a bit to do this weekend;

finish the Maverick (high poly and low)

MUDBOX PRACTICE. For the love of god just play around in the program

Er. I don’t even know?

Update Portfolio site (get thumbs working and whatnot)

Work on my shield (finish high poly and low)

WIN.

Play Love.

I was ever so generously granted with an account for Love from someone in my class. He tried it and didn’t like it so he offered the key to me. I’m uber-excited to try it. A full procedurally-generated MMO. What an awesome idea. That’ll take a little bit of time from my weekend, but I’ve got to focus on getting that portfolio updated and our application written for the GameGarage.

Busy busy. Robots on the braaaaaain.

blah

March 22nd, 2010 by industria | Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

So yeah. I’m going to update everyday. Then all of a sudden I got portfolio requirement’d! :\ That results in sad bryan. I’m going to post more later, but I am lacking the inspiration. I’ve got a portfolio now~

industrie	industrie	industrie	industrie
industrie	industrie	industrie	industrie
industrie	industrie	industrie	industrie

I’m also in the process of modeling the Nerf Maverick. 8D

February 9th, 2010 by industria | Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

I’ve been thinking about what kind of artist I am quite a bit, recently. I just can’t seem to get over that wall of lazy and unmotivation to actually produce anything. When we attended the Montreal International Games Summit this fall I was struck by something that I hadn’t really realized before; I want my art to mean something. I want my art to make a difference. I want to change the world. I want to lead gaming as an art-form that is actually mass market, a la literature and movies. This wasn’t something I had ever thought about before.

I have always had this desire in me to make things. To create and draw and give life to these weird and bizarre ideas in my brain. But I’ve never thought of myself as creative. I’m not saying that to be angsty or anything, but I still don’t see myself as a unique individual. My ideas and creations are just everything that I’ve absorbed and compacted through my brain and then regurgitated. As we listened to Chris Hecker give the closing key-note at MIGS and talk about how games are a new art-form, this is a new movement and we are at the forefront. And, we have the ability to fuck this up. As an up-and-coming designer/3D artist I don’t want to see video games fall in to the same category as comic books; meaningful and beautiful, but never taken seriously.

I was completely inspired by that keynote; I want to change the world and I want to change the people that play my games. The same way that Braid changed me, or Cave Story. When I was hit by the realization I was literally crying. Eva and I talked about it later, and the discussion led to her proposing to me. She and I share the same goal in life in that we want our art to inspire.

I don’t feel like I’m accomplishing that right now. I’m not producing anything meaningful. Although, I’m also struggling to keep up in school and I am learning the technicalities of my trade. I don’t really feel that’s an excuse, though. This is the real reason of my “Picture of the Moment” craze that I’ve been going on. If I consistently create I will get better at it. The more I create the more I’m going to fail at realizing my goal. But the more I fail the more I am going to learn. Aside from having the goal of at least one upload a day, I plan to have at least one thing modeled and textured for me every sunday. This way I can start to build up not only my collection of 3D, but also my experience at making all sorts of different stuff.

I just need to get over that stupid wall.

Divided.

February 6th, 2010 by industria | Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

I really need to get all my programs working on both sides of my computer. It’s very frustrating having to reboot anytime I need to access Photoshop, or WoW, or 3DS. :\ Overall, I feel unimpressed. I rendered off a chunk of my pillar I’m working on for my Baghdad level, but it didn’t work, apparently. Aaaaand it’s not letting me render at home. So have the “title screen” of our little indie game instead.

Maybe I’ll post the game itself once it’s tidied a little. Also, there’s a very ill Eva needing some attention. I’ll post something more interesting tomorrow.

Obviouspunhere.

February 5th, 2010 by industria | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

I find it very interesting how the day after I make an internal commitment to post something everyday, even if it’s just crap or whatever, my lunchbreak gets filed away with menial labor and I’m unable to meet my goal. My intention was to do a drawing / render every day at lunch, a la Lunch Bag Art. (<- Total inspiration in every way shape and form.) One thing I had always admired about Morr is that his “Picture of the Moment” was consistently updated. Not only will this give me incentive to be a more active online-citizen (because this is uber-important), it will force me to make sure I’m posting ART and to keep me drawing, doodling and overall being creative.

Today at lunch, however I had to run home and eat Eva’s delicious stir-fry, go get medicine for Alex and by the time I got back to school I got to a computer with no tablet drivers. Then I had to sit through three hours of nonsense. This was followed by an immediate nap. Productive day is productive. Either or, I got some modeling done tonight and I’m going to try to truck along all weekend and get some werk done.

This is a tire for the vehicle we’re building for one of our classes. Or the rough of a tire, anyways. I’m going to attempt to beat it up some and make it a little more interesting, plus textures, blahblahblah.

Interestingly enough, one of the first objects I ever built, ever, was a tire. I wonder if I could find it anywhere just to compare it. I’d be a little sad if they looked the same. But for the first one it was just following a tutorial pretty religiously.

Either or, I’ve got a lot to do this weekend. What should I draw tomorrow?

Tags: art!, whatisthis

what is this?

February 4th, 2010 by industria | Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

I am so going to post the hell out of this blog tomorrow. Today was supposed to be the postening, but wow do I ever suck at keeping at what I intend to do. I’m going to update from now on at least once a day with a “Picture of the Moment”. And this is my PoM for this very moment.

o:

a post in which bryan is lazy, and makes more work for himself

June 15th, 2009 by industria | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

jump the cut if you think you can read my handwriting

Whut?

…

April 5th, 2009 by industria | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

like a surplus reprieve

January 16th, 2009 by industria | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

I’ve been left to my thoughts a lot, recently. No wait, I haven’t. It’s been all Warcraft, school or some other thing to waste time. It’s not like I don’t enjoy those things but I really miss sitting around and not having anything to do. My brain is getting fried from all of the activity. It’s not used to all this stimulus.

I stumbled upon a piece of music today on the Audio Portal that really stuck to me. It wasn’t just the piece, though, the comment left by the author stuck with me just as much. I constantly seek inspiration and talent in other artists in an attempt to get myself to create something, but what usually ends up happening is that I just get lost in the beauty and procrastinate doing anything myself. It’s a really bad funk I’ve been in. This is the comment that musician left, along with the piece of music.

Do you ever think about it ? How you as a child would react to who you have become ? I do. I think about it all the time. Think about all the dreams I had, all the goals and ideas. The creativity, the fun, the demeanor. If I were to go back in time right now and talk to myself. I’m pretty sure I would hate me.
Don’t get me wrong.. I don’t hate life, I’m not being emo, I’m perfectly content with myself. But I’m sure that this is not who I wanted to be.

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I was left thinking: “Would I hate myself if I could go back and talk to my younger self? Did I thrash any dreams I had?” Obviously I’m a little too young for this to really apply to me. I’ve still yet to achieve really anything, but I was thinking none the less. What struck me as odd was that I couldn’t remember any big dreams or goals that I was driven to accomplish. I don’t even remember what I used to say I wanted to be. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I have never really wanted to be the best. I’ve never craved popularity or fame, I’ve never wanted to be brave or courageous. I guess I’ve always just wanted to do my own thing, you know? And that’s certainly what I’m doing right now.

But I’m asking an open question to everyone, it doesn’t matter how old you are or where you are in your life, I’m curious:

If you could go back in time and meet your younger self, would you like who you turned into?

That’s not to say that you’re unhappy with who you are, as August stated in his comment. Priorities change with time and sensibility. I’m just curious what everyone elses’ inner children would think of them as they are now. I certainly hope I’d think I was cool. I’m learning to make video games for goodness sake. What’s more neat to kids than that?

Also, I had meant to post this image a short while ago, but that was very quickly dwarfed by this;

Who knew I’d ever hit sixty, let alone so damn fast. (Time played: 4 days, 6 hours, 18 minutes, 55 seconds [and I'm almost 61. Haha.])

curious

pixel’d

December 17th, 2008 by industria | Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

I can safely say that I’m glad that school is over for now. It began with me really enjoying it, I fell into a funk midway through and near the end I really dug it again. I’m also glad to say I just barely passed the courses I hated, and I did anywhere from reasonably well to awesome in the classes I liked. I’m stoked for the winter break, though. It’ll be nice to just sit around and do nothing for a while.

Speaking of which, our intro to Flash class finished today and our little shmup along with it. I’ll send it out to those interested, but it’s very, very basic. For a week and a half’s worth of work and barely knowing flash I’m reasonably impressed with us. It was interesting to see the little bit of dynamic, or lack there of, we had going. A lot of things in it I’m unhappy with, but I wasn’t in charge of the coding at all, so it wasn’t my place to give orders there. I’m incredibly pleased with my pixel-bubbles though. It’s awesome.

Random inspiration of the day? Look Up At The Sky from Celarent.

It’s days like these that I just want to lay back and watch the stars.

drained

Tags: deadbryanday, school = done

just like you

December 8th, 2008 by industria | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

I’ve been a bit of a funk, recently.  Unable to really give anything my full effort and as such everything I contribute to seems to be suffering.  Bleeding Pixels is almost a month late again, not to mention all the stuff in school I had let pile up around me.  BUT.  I’m getting over it and sucking it up.  School’s looking more appealing now that three of my completely useless classes are over and we’re actually getting into some meat into my favourite classes.  Why must the good classes end?  Maybe I’ll have a touch of aflash game to put on here in a few weeks.  I’m really looking forward to finishing that project.  c:

Gaming has been a bit of weird state for me, as well.  I played and fell in love with Fallout 3, but am not really sure how much more I want to play it.  I love it, but I’m not feeling compelled to pick up the controller for it anymore.  And LittleBigPlanet has not been getting the love it deserves at all, however that’ll change this week.  I’ll be setting up the first competition for the LBP Creator’s Club for VGEvo, so I’ll be forced into creating something aesthetic and publishing it.  Maybe Eva’ll sit down and help me create it.

Other than that?  It’s been World of Warcraft.

I’ve played WoW before for about a month in the spring, but that was on a free trial and once my trial was over I had just lost interest and stopped playing.  It wasn’t worth paying for then. However, sir Jamie recently sent me a Scroll of Resurrection and I installed it onto my new iPander and started rolling Vinneas again.  Then, we went out and bought a copy for Eva and both rolled new characters.  She’s a Blood Elf Paladin and I’m a Tauren Druid.  I couldn’t imagine how I was going to play that game without all my Rogue-ness, but because our accounts are linked and we get unholy experience bonuses we’ve been partying together the whole time which completely changes the way the game plays.  For the better, of course.  Playing with Vinneas and Jamie’s Mage was also neat.  I need to play with other people more often.  On that note, I leave you with my current inspiration.

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guilty

Tags: bryan + updates = DIVIDE BY ZERO, whut?

Yellow Plaid

November 24th, 2008 by industria | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

I’ve been in a “no one on the internet cares, Bryan” mind set, and as such have been avoiding the social side of the internet.  I do want to get something out, at the moment though.

I’ve just recently finished playing Jonathan Blow’s Braid.  This is interesting for a few reasons.  First, it means I now have an X360 (8D), but more importantly Blow also spoke at the Montreal Game Summit that I just got home from, and some of the things he said there struck a chord with me.

Blow is a very interesting figure in the industry right now because he had outright chosen not to work for larger companies but to instead independently develop his games.  It became glaringly apparent as soon as he started to state his views about game development and even gaming in general.  The current industry would simply not allow him to make the game he wanted to make.  Which is odd, considering that in the end that game he made is the highest rated XBLA game on meta-critic and has been very critically acclaimed.  It’s just an interesting point, considering his views and ideals.

He feels very strongly about gaming being an art form, but it’s not quite there yet.  I can see where he’s coming from and I kind of agree, but I’m not in the same boat as him, per se.  He feels if gaming is to affect people on a profound level the need to be approached differently.  Their “dynamical meaning” must match the narrative meaning.  It’s all very interesting stuff that I strongly suggest you listen to directly from Blow in his Montréal International Games Summit keynote, which you can find here.  It’s an Incredibly interesting listen even if you’re not too much into gaming.

Cut for spoiler territory~

Although, I’m weird.   You’ll probably hear me more from me on this, as I’m a lame and boring kid.
If you haven’t played Braid and you own an X360, then I strongly, STRONGLY suggest picking it up.  It’s very worth it in my opinion.  For all you PC kids, hold strong.  It’ll be here soon~

thoughtful

Tags: braid, jonathan blow, Montreal internation games summit

a post in which bryan “whoa”s

November 4th, 2008 by industria | Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

I have to admit, I’ve always been a keen fan of Lego and Minifigs, but I felt this was necessary of a post all of it’s own.

Source.

’nuff said.

amused

Tags: nerdgasm, whoa

a post in which bryan weeps

October 26th, 2008 by industria | Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

While I don’t have LittleBigPlanet yet, and I personally chose to avoid the beta when it was around, it seems everyone and their dog is playing this game right now.  Unfortunately, it’s not available where I am, yet. Joy. Won’t be here until Tuesday.  :\  Either or, the ever wonderful Tony Bowe has decided to compile an Unofficial LittleBigPlanet soundtrack, which I offer to you here.  It took me ages to actually get that damn MP3 player to work the way I wanted it to, and I doubt any of you really care.. but you never know.  I code because I care.  You can stream all twelve songs directly from here, or if you so please, download it directly.  ♥

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In other news?  Trusty Bell is fucking phenomenal.  I really want Eva to want to play it more so I can actually put some more time into it, but I have to admit.. it’s way better than I was expecting.  And I had really high expectations.  The art is SO DAMN GOOD.

Oh!  And there’s a possibility of collaboration between Bleeding Pixels and one of my professor’s online endeavours that could end up being very neat.  AND, episode 5 of Bleeding Pixels is FINALLY AVAILABLE.  It’s good to be back;  sorry for the ear-rape with the audio quality.  It won’t happen again.

sleepy

Tags: littlebigplanet, the almighty tony bowe, trusty bell